No BLT

I'm on day 6 of recovery. Each day I am less sore, which is great. But at the same time, it's harder to remember the rules of recovery: NO bending, lifting, and twisting. The first couple days it was really easy because I was sore. I didn't need reminders not to bend because I could barely move! With each day that passes, I have to consciously remind myself not to do things.

For example: brushing my teeth is now hard. Since I can't bend over to spit, I have to kinda squat and shoot out the mouthwash. It's ridiculous. Everything is below my waist. I'm 5'10". I constantly bend over without thinking about it: throwing away garbage, grabbing my cell phone off of the table, etc. Add to the mix a three year old and 6 month old, my entire world is located below my waist.

The hardest one to remember isn't bending or lifting. It's twisting. It's extremely subconscious. I am not aware of twisting till I do it. In the car, I went to hand Jessie a napkin and I realized that I would have to twist my body. Getting in an out of the car normally requires twisting. I have to move my body as a single unit. I'm trying to retrain my brain, but old habits die hard.

I am very thankful that I don't have nerve pain. I'm only sore. I realize that as each day passes it will be harder to follow the rules. I already feel like cheating at times, especially when it comes to taking care of myself or my girls. I have to be really humble. I need help tying my shoes, or if I drop anything. This morning Tali was in bed with me, and I had to call my mom to help me take Tali off of the bed. I can't lift her at all. 

It's a very humbling place to be. It's not what I'm used to. Normally I'm the busy, do-it-all mom. I don't ask for help often. I'm the first to offer help. For goodness sake, I'm the deaconess of hospitality at church! Now, I'm the one receiving the hospitality. People are making meals for my family and cleaning my house. My mom and dad are changing diapers, driving me to appointments, and taking care of three extra people without any complaints! 

I am extremely grateful. I don't know what I'd do without my family and church family. They have done so much, even when I have insisted that "I'm ok." God has placed me in a humble position. I am truly grateful. It's not easy to receive help. But I want to have a heart that rejoices and is thankful. When the guilt and shame come creeping in (especially when I can't take care of my kids, or I see fatigue in my husband's eyes), I will choose to be thankful and grateful for where God has placed me. God is blessing me through others and He is using others. It's not just about me.